


Dirk: Count Your Blessings

by MelodramaticMrTails



Category: Homestuck
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, 69 (Sex Position), Anal Sex, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Drunkenness, Femdom, Fingerfucking, First Time, Frottage, Knotting Dildos, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, Masturbation, Multi, Naked Cuddling, OT4, Rimming, Roughness, Sex Toys, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-13
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-01 08:25:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1042571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelodramaticMrTails/pseuds/MelodramaticMrTails
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A thirty day kink challenge for glorious Alpha ot4. Tags to be added.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One; the lazy day cuddles

“Oh man, I am so sore,” Roxy complains, throwing herself on the brand new bed gladly. She doesn’t bother getting dressed after your group shower. The rest of you follow her lead and decided not to, either. To be honest, you’re all much too tired to do much of anything right now. You’d think that syalldii would make moving easier, but in reality it’s just way more work. Playing ‘let’s unpack the fragiles in the kitchen’ was your favorite part of the day.

Jake immediately rests his head on Jane’s chest, her bosom undoubtedly making a much better pillow than the new pillows on the bed. Roxy scoots herself over to press against Jake’s back, and contorting herself to grab Jane’s waist with one hand and crook the other behind her. You climb into bed behind Jane, pressing your face into her neck and relaxing all at once.

For a few moments, you all just lay comfortably, still slightly wet from the shower, sore, and tired. On the bright side, you won’t have to move again for several years. Plus, this house is very nice, there’s now enough room for everyone to have their own space without stepping on each other toes. The pool out back didn’t hurt the deal, either.

“No one wants sex, right?” Roxy murmurs. You all groan in reply. That sounds terrible alright. “Okay good.”

When you’re nearly asleep, Jane sits up suddenly, throwing Jake off and almost shoving Roxy off the bed completely.

“We forgot Murphy,” she whispers. Roxy rockets up.

“Oh no!”

Aw shit, you forgot the family puppy.


	2. Two; for the late night kisses

You can practically see her breathing from here. You’ll be honest, you weren’t entirely sure Jane knew how to swim. You didn’t think she’d be the one to skinny dip, either. Still, she looks perfectly content, arms resting on the side of the pool, gently keeping herself afloat with swishes of her feet, and cigarette delicately laced between her fingers.

“What cha doin’?” Roxy murmurs against your ear suddenly. You glance to her mildly, guessing that she couldn’t sleep either. You motion out the window and Roxy rests her head on your shoulder. “Let’s join her.”

She strips out of her pajama shirt and panties before you even have a chance to agree. You follow her lead, though.

“Ah,” Jane says as Roxy slips into the chilly water next to her. “Did I wake you?”

“Nu uh. Couldn’t sleep,” Roxy replies, sinking back to dip her hair into the water. You hop into the water carefully, not wanting to splash water everywhere especially so late at night. Jake’s probably still asleep like a stone, after all.

“I was still working on some stuff,” you assure her. You’re usually up pretty late and that’s only if you sleep at all. You lean in to her to place a warm kiss on her slightly cool lips. She’s been out here for a while, you guess. She responds gently and Roxy joins in gladly.

“Let’s go inside,” you say and Jane nods in agreement.

“Yeah,” she murmurs delicately as she stubs out her cigarette. “It’s cold out here.”


	3. Three; for the first time

The four of you have more or less put off intimate relations for the last couple weeks for a few reason. A lot of stuff had happened very quickly for one and none of you really felt up to trying anything particularly troublesome. Mainly, though, none of you are entirely sure how to go about it. This isn’t your typical boy plus girl relationship, after all. There are four of you with previous relationships with each other, not to mention not quite relationships, awkward flirting attempts, and amazing friendships. So it is kind of hard for any of you to really try to go anywhere now.

Instead, you just kind of let it happen by itself, which it eventually does.

You all pile haphazardly on the bed after a long day at Jane’s bake off. She won, of course, proving that Crocker is still the best at baking regardless of the unfortunate bump in productivity. It’ll take some time for people to put their trust in the new and improved ‘Crocker Company’ but you have all the time in the world. Literally.

You’re definitely a little drunk and you know for a fact that Roxy is as well, the celebratory vodka cake bites making sure of that. Jane’s buzzed at best, having more control than the rest of you clearly. You’re not too sure about Jake. He undoubtedly ate more of the tiny cakes than the rest of you, apparently unaware of what ‘vodka cake’ meant, but he’s not shitfaced in the slightest.

Jake starts giggle and a few minutes later you’re all laughing pretty hard. Quite honestly, you may be drunker than you want to admit. You’re still conscious and aware, though. You’re still in perfect control of yourself.

“May I fondle your bosom, Ms. Lalonde?” Jake, on the other hand, clearly isn’t.

“Oh god yes I would love that,” Roxy replies immediately. Jake makes no hesitation and you’re not one hundred percent sure that it’s just because he’s drunk. He sits up gladly, nearly throwing himself off the bed really too small for four people with the motion. Roxy pulls the edge of her shirt up quickly, adjusting herself to get it off without elbowing anyone in the face. Jake cups her breasts between his hands at which point he decided to start being nervous.

This is probably because he has never touched a breast before. Of course, neither have you, but it’s no surprise that you can apply theoretical better than Jake can. Not that you have anything to say to this. Roxy pushes her bra down and shrugs the straps from off her shoulders. She takes his hands in her own, guiding him on the proper way to touch her to which Jake obliges. Roxy moans warmly in response, rocking her hips into the motions.

You see Jane swallow.

“Can I touch you?” you ask softly against her ear. Her skin jumps as if she’d forgotten you were here or perhaps she simply hadn’t thought that you would ask. You try not to look too much into it at the moment. She hesitates for a moment before nodding slightly, her lips parted for speech but none escaping. This is new for all of you. Sure, you’ve thought about it. You had all the time in the world to think of all sorts of things.

“Are you sure?” you confirm gently. You don’t want to make her feel obligated to do anything she doesn’t want to do. Jane nods again, fingers grasped slightly at the hem of her shirt. You run your fingers over her midriff, slipping your hand under the fabric of her shirt and following her warm flesh upwards. You unhook the conviently located latch from between her breasts and press her shirt just below her collar. Jane’s swallows again, breath hot and heavy with what you hope is arousal.

You glance toward Jake. He doesn’t know where to look, green eyes swaying from Roxy to Jane to you and back again. He’s learned his lesson and now, he wants to make sure he’s not neglecting anyone’s feelings.

“Jake,” you say, hands full of Jane’s plush breasts. Jake looks to you and you lean over to kiss him. He responds wholeheartedly, your mouths certainly no stranger to one anothers. Roxy moves suddenly, shrugging out from beneath Jake and taking the time to yank off her bra. She grabs Jake’s thighs suddenly, jerking him forward a bit to undo the snap of his pants.

You take a pinch of Jane’s skin in your mouth, trailing little not quite bites between her breast before running your tongue over nipple. She gasps softly but quickly moves to worry her teeth in her mouth instead.

“Cheese wiz,” Jake groans and the rest peters out into nonexistence. He rests on hand on Roxy’s head carefully, and even then he’s unsure to do that. Roxy, on the other hand, takes no prisoners, using every trick that she likely has never had the chance to use on a real person to make Jake shudder.

You usher Jane to sit up, kissing her neck softly as you help get her shirt off. You guide her to Jake. He kisses her enthusiastically, putting in all the effort that he does everything else with. You move off the bed to fetch some essentials, kept in the house for this inevitability. When you return, Jake is shirtless and he’s rubbing Jane desperately through her panties.

“Roxy,” you beckon her attention with some effort and hand her a condom and some lube. She detaches from Jake’s cock with a suggestive pop.

“Fuck. Yes. Thank you,” she manages out between her excitement and lust. She doesn’t hesitate to rip it open and roll it down Jake’s penis with a few little strokes of her fingers. She sits back again and Jane moves to give them a little more room. Roxy applies a liberal amount of lubrication to her fingers and rubs them through her cunt paying liberal attention to her clitoris. She sucks her lip between her teeth, grabbing one of Jake’s legs to guide him back toward her.

Jake slides in steadily, placing a hand on her waist and moves mostly by instinct and Roxy’s tells. Roxy throws her hips into him, setting the pace herself and immediately making them both very vocal. Jane slips a hand down her skirt to which, of course, to go to give her a hand. You rock her back a fraction, sliding your thumbs under the edges of her skirt and kneeling off the edge of the bed.

You press your mouth to the front of her panties, already wet from previous play. This elicits a moan from her. You pull her panties aside and run your tongue along her silk folds, making her squeak with noises that she doesn’t want to be heard.

“Put your hand here, Jake,” you hear Roxy insists with airy moans and the pleasured shout that follows. “Yes! Like that! Yes yes yes yes! Omg Jake!”

You’ve yet to touch yourself, which is quite unfortunately as you would really like to. The important part right now, however, is to make sure Jane and Roxy orgasm first. Woman naturally have a harder time reaching climax and it would be pretty embarrassing to run out of steam during your first time like this. Though again, you’re thinking too much into things.

You pay close attention to Jane, feeling and hearing her react and taking note of what she likes best. It gives you something else to focus on, as well.

“Oh!” Roxy pitches loudly, having no regard for her volume. Not that there’s any need for her to. You had fully intended on getting Jane off but instead Jake taps on your shoulder a few moments later. You peer out from under Jane’s skirt mildly.

“Ah, mind if I cut in, Mr. Strider?” he asks and jesus christ he’s still hard. Jane nods approvingly, her vanilla face flushed bright red. You move out of the way as Jake rolls on a new condom and adjusts himself between Jane’s thighs. Roxy lays limp on the other side of the bed, evening out here breathing with the most pleased smile on her toffee face.

“Oh man,” she breaths to no one in particular. “I’ve been waiting so long for that.” She’s not the only one. She turns her attention on you suddenly, throwing herself up and grabbing at your shirt. “Why are you the only one that still has all their clothes on?” she scoffs at you and you immediately give in as she rips your shirt off your back and throws it aside.

“I’m just a generous lover like that,” you answer simply.

“Well ‘generous lover’, sarcmark, let’s pay you back.” Roxy unbuttons your jeans gladly, pulling your erect cock out from your boxers and stroking you casually. “Knew it,” she says.

“Yeah. Told you. Truly one hundred percent dick.”

“No,” she puffs. “You have freckles down here.”

“Is that- alright?” Jake murmurs softly. Jane nods quietly, lip pinched between her teeth and back arched slightly. Roxy moves away from you to give him a hand. She squeezes one of Jane’s breasts in her hand softly.

“She’s just shy is all, Jake,” Roxy says, taking a perk fawn nipple in her mouth and sucking on it. You place your mouth where Jake and Jane connect, tongue pressed firmly against her engorged clit. Jane shudders.

“Gee fucking willikers, chum,” Jake breathes unevenly. Jane covers her mouth, muffling her shout of pleasure as she comes. Roxy grins cheshirely. Jake slides out slowly, careful of Jane’s oversensitivity, and-

Holy shit, Jake is still fucking erect.

“Oh gosh,” Jane sighs warmly.

“I know, right,” Roxy agrees.

“I didn’t forget about you, chap,” Jake says, grabbing one of your belt loops. You’re getting manhandled quite a bit today. Not that you’re complaining. He pulls off his condom and retrieves the lube from earlier, coating his dominant hand with it. He scoots closer to you, the two of you having to do some maneuvering to get into a decent position before Jake can grab both his and your cock in his hand.

“Shit,” you huff. You’re definitely glad you didn’t have to wait much longer for this. It’s as good as you expected it to be and hopefully you’re just scratching the surface. Jake ruts against you, dick sliding between his fingers without any resistance. You lean forward to kiss him and he nearly puts a hand on your neck. He adjusts quickly, instead grasping your shoulder. Between Jake’s hand, Jake’s cock, and your own mind, you find your release quickly. Jake’s not far behind you, though.

“Fuck,” you exhale contently.

“Good show,” Jake hums as well.

“Good show indeed,” Roxy smirks. She leans in to give you a kiss. Jane grabs a bit of blanket to cover herself, leaning against Roxy slightly.

“I’m inclined to agree,” she murmurs, smiling softly. Jake blushes slightly.

“Sorry loves,” he murmurs. “I usually can trot on longer than that, but it’s been a hop and a skip.”

“Jfc,” Roxy exclaims in return. “If one of you doesn’t put ‘sexed to death’ on my gravestone, I’m going to be thoroughly fuckin disappoitned in all of you.”


	4. Four; and the days you're not home

You never sleep well while you’re away from home. That may be a bit of an understatement, actually. You’ve slept about a grand total of an hour over the last three days and two of those short naps had lead to stress dreams about the house burning down. So yeah, you tend not to sleep when you’re by yourself. They call you probably more often than they really need to, but that’s what you need. Your clingy, obsessive issues need constant validation especially when you’re away. The constant reminder that no, they aren’t better off without you and no, they’re not going to leave you does give you some comfort.

Still that doesn’t help you when it’s three am and you’ve been awake for twenty six hours. You’re not really tired, to be honest, though you and your body both know that you should at least try to get some rest but even if you force yourself to lay down your mind won’t be quiet. The white noise Roxy made for you isn’t helping at all tonight. It’s not even keeping your migraine away.

You attempt to soothe yourself with a long, warm shower. The foreign tub is uncomfortable to say the least. Only twenty eight more hours until you go home. You hate these trips. They try to lure you in with ‘you’re the best at this’ and ‘we can learn so much for you’ and more money than they can afford. You don’t want their money. You are infinite and money is thus rendered meaningless to you. You try to help them understand, though. You try to tell them ‘no, that won’t work’ and ‘seriously, that won’t work I know what I’m talking about’ and ‘look what you did. Didn’t I fucking tell you that wouldn’t work?’ but they just brush you off.

You don’t know why you still bother. You’d much rather be home.

You grab your cock, an easy and satisfying distraction. The compact tub gives you room to lean on the wall without too much worry about your feet slipping out from under you. The grip on the bottom of the porcelain is long gone. You stroke your half hard penis between your fingers placidly.

You think of Jane before you and the delicate, muffled noises she makes as you lavish her warm cunt with your tongue. You think of Jake’s hands on your hips and his cock between your thighs, each thrust generating pleasurable friction. You think of Roxy with her hands on your knees and her lips around your penis, leaving marks of her lipstick over your skin.

Your orgasm does nothing for you. It only makes you frustrated and slightly more irritable than before. You examine your dirty hand mildly, more annoyed that you’re alone than anything else. A quick flick of the wrist cleans you off and you get out of the shower. For a five star hotel, their hot water is horrible. They likely didn’t expect anyone to take three plus showers a day in hour plus intervals.

Twenty seven more hours.


	5. Five; for family time

Typically your movie nights are pretty fun. It gives everyone a chance to relax and enjoy each other’s company as sometimes with your weird schedules you might not get to do otherwise. Like this week, for example. For seven days each one of your separate schedules collectively fucked you all. How all four of you managed to completely avoid each other for an entire week is beyond you, but you’re just glad that it won’t be happening again for a while. 

Not having any time to select a movie before hand, Jake just picks one from his pretty massive collect. One that has been watched a few times already but will be enjoyed none the less. You settle yourself at one end of the couch, where you usually sit, and Roxy leans again you tiredly. Jane folds herself up beyond her, appearing as if she is going to nod off at any moment. Jake spreads himself out on the floor, the lazy little family puppy gladly laid at his side. 

You honestly think you’re all too tired to really actually watch the movie, even Jake, but that’s alright. You can’t speak for everyone, but you feel better just being around your lovers again. Roxy fidgets against you slightly. Seven days without getting off is kind of unusual for all of you, but three of four of you probably require some sleep first. Roxy, however, you don’t think is going to sleep well like this. 

Obviously you’re going to give her a hand. You move from the couch and she has to righten herself to make up for the lean she had on you. With gentle hands, you kneel at her feet and part her knees. Roxy sighs with relief. You slips your hands up her thighs, calloused fingers catching on her stockings a bit, and draw her skirt up high on her hips. She grabs the back of your head with both hands when you press your mouth to the front of her boyshorts. The fabric clings to her folds desperately and you press your tongue into each define line. Roxy makes loud noises in her throat, though she doesn’t manage to get as loud as she usually does. Too tired. 

“Ah, may I?” You hear Jake move from his spot on the floor. 

“Yes,” Jane answers. “Please do.” 

You pinch the bottom of Roxy's boyshorts and she lifts her hips so you can pull them down enough to free her wet cunt. Roxy’s fingers tighten their grip on the back of your head momentarily, though she’s pretty careful about not pulling your hair. You really feel no need to tell her it’s unnecessary. 

It’s lazy, on both sides, but that doesn’t make it poor in any way. You move your hands to Roxy’s waist and run them slowly down to her hips, keeping a loose grip on her with your fingers in the flesh of her butt. She gradually gets quieter and you assume it’s because she’s kissing Jane. It’s only when Jane calls your name that you notice otherwise. 

“Dirk,” she says. “She’s asleep.” You lift your head just enough to see that yes, Roxy is fast asleep. 

“That’s either a great compliment or the worse insult,” you murmur. Asleep, Roxy is easy to maneuver. You help her out of her stockings and boyshorts before getting back to your feet with a tired yawn. 

“Jake,” Jane murmurs softly. “Let’s go to bed.” 

“You sure?” he asks. She nods smally and he agrees with one of his own. You take a moment to help Roxy out of her bra before hoisting her up and the four of you head off to bed for the night.


	6. Six; for the settled nerves

“Rightio then, the ladies are in the shower. We should be jolly good to go in a skip and a hop,” Jake says, adjusting his watch on his wrist. Roxy, Jake, and you are appearing with Jane as a family for the first time. You’re not all that concerned about it. There are already an abundance of ‘is Crocker gay?’ ‘brother or steamy love affair?’ ‘how suspicious is it that Crocker needs a mechanic living with her?’ Of course, no one knows that she has legally changed her last name, either and that’s the way Roxy likes it.

“You think it’ll be alright?” Jake asks worriedly. He fixes your tie for the hundredth time and again you let him because it seems to calm him down a little. He’s probably going to worry a hole through it, though.

“Does it really matter?” you reply.

“I suppose not,” he admits. “But I don’t want the girls to get all worked up over some cotton ninny’s narrow minded windpipe.”

“A, whose girls are you talking about? Because last time I checked, Roxy’s usually ready to drop kick anyone who disrespects her at a moments notice and Jane runs more of the world than the president. If it bothers her, I doubt it’ll bother her for very long. B, cotton ninny narrow minded windpipe?” Again, you’re not that concerned. A lot of things have changed and furthermore, so what if they don’t accept you? The four of you will outlive the earth by a thousand life times. You think you can deal with one generation of people disapproving of your polyamorous relationship.

“I know,” Jake sighs. You take his hands off your tie.

“Just pretend we’re benevolent and all powerful gods,” you tell him.

“Um,” he muses as you check his pockets for unnecessary goods. For once he’s actually not trying to sneak into a press meeting with extra ammunition. “Aren’t we?” You shrug mildly.

“All the more reason they should be kind to us. Isn’t that a thing people say? Be kind to everyone because they might be a god or something.”

“In more or less words, I suppose,” he agrees. You press your palm against his cock and he gasps suddenly. “C-chap.”

“Don’t worry about it, Jake. No matter what happens, we’re still a family,” you assure him. “Besides, people accepted black romances, right? There’s no reason they should refuse polyamorous ones.”

“Ah, I guess you’re right,” Jake admits. You slip your hands into his back pockets, pressing your thigh between his legs. “Our suits,” he murmurs.

“Dude, there’s more wrinkles in your suit than on alternate you’s face,” you reply.

“Hey,” he scoffs back.

“Even if you end up looking like him in your old age, we’ll still love you,” you assure him, mainly as a joke. You won’t age.

“Dirk,” he says softly, champagne face flushed bright red. You rut against him firmly and he breathes heavily in your ear.

“Do you want me to stop?” you ask. Jake grips your shoulders tightly, the pair of you needing to work together to maintain balance.

“Bloody hell, no, I want you to hurry.”

“Consider it done.”


	7. Seven; for the assistance

You spend a couple hours home alone each day between the hour that Roxy leaves and the hour that Jake comes home. It’s not very long generally, three or four hours at the most with everyone’s constantly changing schedules, but it gives you some much needed time to yourself. This time to yourself is less for you and more for your lovers, actually, as you are prone to making very, very bad decisions if you let yourself get too emotional over something. You don’t tell them this, obviously, but they know anyways. Also pretty obvious.

But of course, some days are more erratic than others. Murphy, who usually sleeps at your feet while no one else is home, raises his head and alerts you to someone at the door just moments before you hear Roxy hurry in.

“Anyone home?” she calls, and you hear the door close loudly behind her. You wipe your face off on your abandoned shirt and make sure there aren’t any grease stains on your chest quickly. Murphy picks himself up and trots out of the room without a care.

“In here, Roxy!” you call back, leaning back in your chair. She appears in the door rather suddenly. You are nearly always in this room at this hour after all. “Something wrong?” you ask.

“Oh good,” she says quickly, approaching you with swift step. “I have to be back to work in twenty minutes. Please please fuck me.” She shoves everything on your desk out of the way and hikes her skirt up around her waist. “I’m working with this chemical and I swear it’s driving my hormones crazy. I ate like thirty jalapeno poppers on the way over here.”

“Say no more,” you assure her. You stand, pushing your chair out of the way with the motion, and grab her about the hips. She pressed a palm against your shoulder, just barely gripping you with her fingertips as you pull aside the front of her frilly panties. You rub two fingers along the lips of her cunt, finding her already wet and more importantly incredibly not in the mood for your foreplay right now. She does this little hop on your desk, bringing herself to the very edge and shoving your hand out of the way.

Roxy grabs the waist of your pants and undoes the front hurriedly. She fishes your dick out from your boxers and lines herself up with your erect cock. You thrust forward suddenly and she gasps with a shuddered noise. You lean into her, grabbing the crooks of her knees with each hand and giving yourself enough leverage to make Roxy scream.

Which she gladly does, no exaggeration necessary. You press your mouth to her neck and she winds her fingers into your hair gladly, clenching her fingers to the rhythm of your thrusts. The sound of your desk banging against the drywall echos through the empty house between Roxy’s shouts and withdraws of air.

“Oh man! Dirk! Dirk! Yes! Fuck! Jfc!” she shouts, using her free hand to rub her clit fiercy between you two. Roxy pulls your hair, yanking your head back so she can kiss you hard. She bites your lip as she orgasms, pulsing her hips desperately into you. You run your hands along the bottom of her thighs as she breathes against your mouth. “Dirk, Dirk, I gotta get back to work.”

“Yeah. Go,” you assure her. “Don’t worry.” You move away from her and she hops down from your desk to straighten out her undergarments and skirt. This doesn’t exactly remove the obvious appearance of sex from her, though. On the other hand, you doubt she really cares. She gives you a quick kiss on the cheek and with her passing graze whispers in your ear.

“I’ll get the tango tonight.”

_Oh._

She leaves and you’re left to deal with your hard on alone. It would be great if tonight could come fairly soon.


	8. Eight; for the days apart

You fix the camera again, unsatisfied with the angle it has on the wall. Jane swats you slightly. Yeah, you know it’s fine, but it’s bothering you all the same. You leave it alone for the sake of understanding that you’ll never be pleased with it. Jane hops into your lap and you wrap your arms around her waist. You pinch her belly slightly, burying your face in her neck as she takes a hold of both your hands. 

Jake connects first, his side of the screen immediately flooding with the light his timezone is currently just receiving. He looks like he’s just gotten up and likely has. 

“Mornin’ loves,” he hums happily, resting his head into his hands with a face ready to return to sleep. He’s really adorable first thing in the morning. Jane grins, lifting her and your hand to wave warmly at him. 

“Good morning, Jake. Did you sleep well?” she muses gently.

“Did you teach all those young whipper snappers their place?” you ask. 

“Mm, yes and yes’ir,” Jake answers, grinning his stupid bucked teeth. “You shoulda seen their faces when I told them you can slip the hardwire over the dillyhoo to bypass the whatcha ma hoo and not have to dottle the battery.” 

“Did that make a lick of sense to you?” Jane murmurs to you. 

“Man if anything Jake said made sense to me we’d solve a whole lot of problems,” you answer. 

“Peh,” Jake scoffs playfully. “They got schooled, son.” 

“Oh man, I must have come into something good,” Roxy says, blinking onto the screen with a scene from the opposite side of the planet. Like Jake, she looks like she’s just gotten up, but instead of from a peaceful night’s sleep, she’s clearly awaken from a short, post-conference nap. Sure enough, she’s just as adorable in this state. 

“Oh Roxy,” Jane sighs, leaning forward slightly to view the screen better. “You didn’t wake up just for this, did you?” 

“I wish,” Roxy huffs. “That would have been so romantic of me. Some guy brought me Macadiddles.” 

“Are you putting out for Macadiddles again?” you ask. 

“You show your tits in one Macadiddles!” she replies. 

“Well to be fair, Strider, it’d be quite a crime not to show off those lush Betty Boops,” Jake agrees. Roxy sticks her tongue out at you pointedly, puffing her chest up between her arms suggestively. Jane sighs softly. You cup her breasts in your hands suddenly. 

“Nah man, I’m just saying that if you’re gonna be puttin’ out, you should at least aim high,” you answer, massaging Jane’s plush chest in your palms. She makes a pitiful moan into her hand. “I mean, you could get Fuchsia Lobster with these bad girls /at least/.” 

“Frickin’,” Roxy murmurs. Jake licks his lip absently. You take the edge of Jane’s shirt and pull it off. She huffs softly, oh so innocently grinding down on you. Jane is quiet and reserved, but this isn’t to be mistaken for an unwillingness for sexual activity. The very opposite in fact. She knows what she likes and she knows when she wants it and that’s that. 

You kiss her neck softly, placing your lips on the curve of ear as she takes your hands and presses them into her ample chest. With unrestrained fingers, you follow the elastic of her bra and undo the clasp in the back, helping her out of it and flinging it to some forgotten part of the room. You pinch her nipples between your fingers. 

“Dirk,” she moans softly, tilting her head back and resting it on your shoulder. Jane shimmies her skirt up, holding it up around her waist suggestively. You run a hand across her belly and to the band of her panties, dipping your fingers under the fabric and running them over her dewy folds. You roll your middle and forefinger against her clit softly, making her shudder warmly. 

“Golly,” Jake whimpers mildly. 

Jane shifts back in your lap, pressing a hand to your chest and gesturing you back. You lean back, supported on your forearms, and she runs her hands down your hip bones. She unbuttons your jeans and draws your cock out from your panties. You grasp her waist loosely. Jane wraps her fingers around you, swirling her thumb over the weeping head of your cock. You clench your teeth. 

She rubs her cunt against your hard on with a bump of her hips and your grip on her waist tightens. Jane pulls a condom from her sylladex, tearing it open and rolling it down your cock with tender fingers. She picks herself up on her knees a bit, positioning your penis between her fingers to slowly sink herself down. 

Her warm, velvet cavern hugs you tightly. Jane breathes a delicate shudder of a hum, rolling her hips against you. You thrust into her and she gasps. You hear the echo of Roxy’s gasp. Jane steadies herself on her hands, leaning back to a position where you can palm her breasts and kiss her back. 

Jake’s and Roxy’s moans are audible over the computer, each pitiful whimper of their desperation seeping into the room. Jane rubs her clitoris with a more vocal noise, grinding her hips rhythmically in sync. 

“Oh fuck,” Roxy murmurs. “Oh man.” Her orgasm definitely helps Jane reach hers. She bites her lip as she grinds her hips down, pressing your hard cock into all the right spots to make her cum. You tilt your head back as she rides you slowly, soaking in the orgasmic bliss and getting you off. You dig your fingers into her skin with your climax, letting out a long breath through your nose. 

“I’m so glad I’m coming home tomorrow,” Roxy sighs, inhaling deeply to regain her breath. Jane rolls her hips and you stifle a groan. 

“That’s not fair,” Jake groans. “What rutting fuck am I supposed to do?” 

“Come home,” Jane answers simply. Jake whines.


	9. Nine; for sudden affection

“Leaving already?” Jade asks.

“I’m afraid so,” Jane answers with a soft sigh. She glances over her shoulder to where Jake is trying desperately to ply Roxy off an awning beam. She really doesn’t want to go. It’s not that she doesn’t want to leave the party, it’s that she doesn’t want to let go of the post. It’s telling her things, she says. You’re telling her she’s drunk. Everything in moderation was the agreement, of which Roxy has completely followed through with.

However, you forgot Harley was fucking insane and that letting her make drinks was probably not the best idea. There was a reason everyone was going easy on the drinks and you had decided not to think about it and now Roxy’s drunk. So yeah, it’s a good idea to get her home and hopefully sober her up before going to bed. She’ll thank you in the morning.

“It was fun, though,” Jane promises. Jade grabs her hands gladly, showing an extreme amount of affection for no other reason than just because. Jane, of course, is perfectly content with this.

“It so was! Your cake was delicious! You have to show me how to make one!” Jade insists. You think she may actually have a higher tolerance for alcohol than Roxy does. Jane grins happily.

“Of course, Jade. I’d be happy to!” she replies. You don’t see that going well. By all means someone’s kitchen is going to be covered in flour and various other cake ingredients by the end of that lesson. Jake wanders past with Roxy heaved over his shoulder.

“I’ll be bahc- buck- b-b-back for you!” she yells.

“I’m really sorry about your whatchathing, grandma,” Jake murmurs as he tries to remove Roxy from the fence. Roxy’s strength means that it’s extremely hard to make her do anything and most things have to be talked out which is hard to do when she really doesn’t want to talk. You help him get her off the fence.

“It’s okay, Jake!” Jade promises. “Roxy can come and fix it up good as new when she’s feeling better!”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure to remind her,” you assure. “It’s a really nice machine. She’ll probably be pretty upset that she broke it in the first place.”

“Oh,” Jade frowns. She hugs Jane tightly and then moves on to hug you. You pat her back warmly.

“I’ll bring Dave’s gear by on Friday. And Rose’s earplugs,” you tell her. Your brother is currently face down in the pool. He’ll be fine. Probably. Jade giggles. You head out with your lovers for the trek home. It’s not that far away and the cool night air is actually pretty nice. Roxy’s calmed down a little now, slung across Jake’s shoulders like a very drunk scarf.

“The trolls are pretty nice, hmm?” Jane murmurs. “Do they still make you uncomfortable, Dirk?”

“Nah. One apple doesn’t spoil the bunch unless you literally have no idea how to throw out contaminated fruit. Like seriously if you see a spoilt apple in your bustle of apples, why the fuck would you leave it in there? Throw that asshole in the fire,” you tell her. Really, you never blamed anyone but who’s fault it was. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise. Jane smiles at you mildly.

You walk in the quiet air for a while, Roxy humming a song she only distantly remembers and makes up the words for the rest of it. The cold on her mostly bare skin is good for helping her sober up. When you finally make it home, Jake and Jane stand aside while you unlock the door and you all pile into the warm house.

Murphy greets you lazily, walking around your collective six feet in hopes of soon having somewhere to sit. Jake lays Roxy out on the couch where Murphy gets his wish and he hops up to flop himself out like he has no bones on her stomach.

“I should get out of these clothes,” Jake says, airing out his shirt. He smells pretty heavily of alcohol. He heads off to the bedroom and you head into the kitchen to fill a glass with water and two Duskquil; cold, flu, and intoxication pills. When you return, not even a couple minutes later, Roxy has pinned Jane under her and is lavishing her face and neck with kisses that might be a little too wet.

“You’re so nice and warm and smell like cake Jane,” she murmurs happily. Jane giggles softly.

“Roxy,” she says affectionately.

“I wanna bang you,” Roxy whispers.

“Roxy!” Well that moment’s over. You interrupt by placing a hand on Roxy’s shoulder.

“Yo, you need to drink this,” you instruct and Roxy sort of lollies her head in your direction. You hold the glass to her mouth though and she drinks without a fight. Until she reliases that it’s gross, that is.

“Ugh! No!” she huffs. “That’s _not_  what I want.” You glance into the cup and swish it around a bit.

“There’s like a swallow left, just drink it,” you persuade. Roxy shakes her head like a child. She throws her face into Jane’s bosom with no intention of coming out. Yeah, this is pretty much what you expected. You hand the glass to Jane who takes the rest of the liquid in her mouth and tilts Roxy’s head up to kiss her.

Roxy makes a face.

“That was mean and unfair,” she huffs. “You’re mean and unfair.”

“I know, Roxy,” Jane answers, petting the back of her head softly. You return to the kitchen to wash the glass and put it away before returning to the living room. You give Jane a questioning thumbs up and she responds with a confirming one of her own. Jake stops you only a few steps down the hall, grasping your jean loops in his fingers and kissing you gladly.

“Your cunt’s so warm, Jane,” you hear Roxy murmur. Jane gasps loudly.

“Your fingers are cold!” she yips.

“M’sorry.”

“You okay, love?” Jake asks softly against your mouth. You run your hands over his back calmly.

“Yeah,” you answers, grabbing your boyfriend’s ass firmly in both hands. “Why don’t you put the plush rump to work?”

“Yes sir,” he answers, replacing his lips on yours. He backs you into the hall wall, his hips pressed firmly into yours. Jake bites your tongue, his fingers undoing the clasp on your pants. You have to do a bit of maneuvering you get your jeans off without breaking the kiss. He shoves you into the wall a little rougher than he actually needs to and you gasp with the thump on your lungs. Jake pants against your mouth.

“Good?” he asks carefully.

“Good,” you answer with a slight nod. Jake grins, dipping back in to kiss you again. You reach between the two of you to push down the band of his pants. Of course he didn’t put boxers back on. His hard on springs out to greet you immediately. Jake grabs your wrist in one of his hands to move them away, a motion which you follow without argument.

He bites your mouth, more aggressively this time. You moan against him. He runs his hand into your borrowed boyshorts, pressing his fingers against your perineum with unfortunate lightness. You rolls your hips into him.

“Dude-” Jake shoves himself against you, effectively squeezing the rest of your words straight out of your lungs.

“Be patient,” he says. You pant lowly, giving him an impatient look. Jake pushes your shades up to rest on the top of your head. He digs into his sylladex for a bottle of lube, popping the lid open with his teeth and dripping it on your exposed cock. Jake strokes you slowly, coating his fingers in the process. He dips his fingers over your scrotum and presses a pair of fingers to your anus. He doesn’t wait, immediately thrusting his fingers in hard and fast. Your knees go weak. Jake kisses the curve of your jaw and you can feel him grin against your skin.

You’re unable to stop the whimper that bubbles from your throat when he withdraws his fingers. He draws on of your legs up around his waist, rubbing his cock against your waiting hole teasingly. You shudder. He presses in slowly, much to your displeasure and you curl your fingers impatiently. Then, all at once he gives you what you want.

You choke on your gasp, arching your back off the wall systematically. Jake fits his mouth to yours, drowning out what few sounds you make. Each thrust hits all the spots that trigger your voice and presses your hip bones into the wall rhythmically. You’re bound to have bruises tomorrow, but that’s what you like, isn’t it?

Even over the squelch of each thrust, you can hear Roxy’s drunken compliment Jane in the livingroom. Jake breathes against your mouth.

“The three of you have been yanking my chain all night. Blowin’ me in the bathroom, sitting on my lap, and doing that habiboola in the pool,” he says. “Now I reckon that wasn’t very nice of you.”

“Bro,” you reply slowly. “You have the stamina of a fucking pro wanker.”

“Rude,” he scoffs back. He nuzzles the side of your neck softly, running his tongue over the curve of your ear. “Can I come in you, chap?” he asks. Goosebumps break over your skin, giving away your calm demeanor. Fuck.

“Yeah,” you answer between breathes. This leads Jake to excitedly thrust in again and you gasp with the sudden jolt of pleasure. He kisses you again but this time it’s with desperate affection that, unsurprisingly, also makes your knees weak. His fanatic and eager movements take the breath out of your lungs in moments.

“Fuck,” he murmurs into your skin, the fingers around your wrist and the ones in your thigh dig in hard. You feel the hitch in his throat and the desperate little hip wriggle he does to grind his cock into you. You whimper mildly into his mouth as he comes, the warmth flooding through you slowly. Without being touched, a rarity for you, you manage to reach your own extremely satisfying orgasm.

Jake releases you slowly, sliding his hands down to your hips.

“Let’s go to bed,” he says quietly.

“Dude, I need a shower now.”

“Tomorrow,” he replies, putting his entire weight on you. You elbow him slightly.

“No dude come on. Go help Jane get Roxy into bed. I’ll be quick,” you promise.

“No you won’t,” he complains. You draw your fingers through his hair softly.

“I love you Jake.”

“I love you too, babe.”


	10. Ten; for the little surprises

“Man, you’re the dumbest dog in the world,” you murmur with a certain bit of affection. Murphy turns his head toward you like he doesn’t have a neck and looks at you questioningly with those big brown eyes. He then returns to trying to figure out how to retrieve the plastic ball from the middle of the pool without actually getting wet. You’ve been watching him try to do this for nearly an hour now. Really, you figured he would have given up by now.

He places a careful paw into the water before discovering what he’s already discovered which is that water is extremely wet and he doesn’t like it. You’d help him out, but this is pretty entertaining. Besides, you have no idea where that ball even came from? It’s a pretty nice day outside, anyways, and you don’t mind lazing on one of the plush lawn chairs by the pool.

Some days you just don’t want to work. So you don’t.

“There you are,” Roxy pokes her head out the kitchen window suddenly. Murphy forgets all about his ball for a moment in order to greet his mama happily. He runs to the window, far too small to reach it, and waggles his stumpy little tail stupidly.

As Roxy comes out of the house, he trots over to her and gladly plops himself on her feet. She picks him up gladly and comes over to where you’re relaxing. She gives you a small kiss and then proceeds to hold Murphy in your face.

“Thanks. I thought clean shower scent was a little over used. Dog breath is much better,” you assure her. She places Murphy back on the ground where he returns to his long time puzzle of retrieving his ball.

“You’re welcome,” she replies gladly, squeezing herself onto the chair with you and kissing you again, more fully this time. You grasp her waist just to make sure she doesn’t tumble off the chair too small for both of you. Her skin’s a bit cold to the touch. She must be working in the freezer again. “Have you been out here all day?”

“Nah. Gave the pup a trim earlier,” you tell her.

“I knew he looked different,” she murmurs. “Less fluffy.”

“He looked like he was getting hot,” you explain. She agrees with a mild nod and gladly snuggles against you and your warmth. Murphy, now with someone who will actually help him, has changed tactics from staring sadly into the pool and staring sadly at Roxy. She, unfortunately for him, doesn’t seem to be paying much attention.

“Is Jake still being kept late?” she asks.

“Yeah,” you murmur. “And Jane has a late meeting today. Just us two for tonight,” you assure her. Roxy puffs her cheeks out, wrapping her arms around your waist in a clingy fashion and squeezing you fondly.

“Well who am I supposed to try my new toy on now?” she questions pointedly.

“I don’t know. Sounds like quite the problem you have there,” you reply. Roxy nudges you pointedly.

“You’re a jerk,” she assures you, nuzzling her face into your neck and proceeding to pinch a bit of your skin between her teeth.

“I can deal with this,” you promise. Roxy adjusts herself to straddle your lap, fitting her bottom between your thighs where she fits more or less perfectly. She opens the snap of your pants and pushes the band of your boxers down to expose your cock. You grab her thighs gently. “Sometimes I think you only want me for my body.”

“You do have the plumpest of rumps,” she replies, stroking you erect. Roxy shifts away from you, quickly escorting you out of your pants and boxers without any hesitation. Roxy is, undoubtedly, an aggressive lover. She nudges and pulls at you, not really forcing you into any position but clearly suggesting that you do, which is good enough for you, really. She guides you to your knees and you support yourself on your forearm carefully.

Always prepared, Roxy retrieves a very fruity scented lube from her sylladex. You peer over your shoulder impatiently, watching her coat her fingers copiously. She touches cold fingers to your skin, slicking her fingers across your anus briskly. You swipe your tongue over your lip, using your free hand to stroke your hard on.

Her slim fingers penetrate you suddenly, seeking out your prostate immediately and with very little effort. You shudder as she rubs the pad of her finger against the little bundle of nerves.

“Roxy,” you say.

“Mm?” she replies.

“Please cut your nails.” To which she replies by thrusting her fingers into you suddenly. She doesn’t say anything about it, though, withdrawing her free hand from her skirt to fiddle with her sylladex again.

“Jade suggested this,” she tells you. “Says it’s Dave’s favorite.”

“Oh man that’s so sexy Roxy. That’s exactly what I want to hear right now. Please continue,” you assure her passively.

“Complain all you want, your brother’s a sexy mofo,” she replies. This is a conversation that could definitely stop. Roxy gives a small, pleased moan and you glance back as she grasps your waist. She thrusts the toy in all at once and immediately you see stars.

“ _Christ_!”

There are some major ridges on that. You shudder on an intake of air and Roxy hums pleasantly as she grinds the toy against you. She slides out slowly, letting you feel each ridge this time, and grinds it back in. That’s a lot of sensation.

“That’s not even the best part,” she promises. That’s not concerning at all. You’re sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Roxy’s thighs don’t touch yours at any point. There’s a bit of anticipation, you’ll admit. Roxy uses the ridges to their best ability, reducing you to trembles fairly quickly. When you reach the start of your orgasm, you feel a much wider part of the silicone press against you. You attempt to stop drooling. Roxy bumps her hips against you and you choke suddenly.

“Roxy,” you gasp. She rocks back the the artificial knot pops back out. She thrusts it back in all at once and you orgasm violently. That was definitely a thing. Roxy pulls out slowly and you quickly try to regain your sense.

“Told you,” she teases.

“What the hell is that?” you ask, rolling onto your back again. Roxy stands beside your pool chair with a smug look on her face, her skirt hiked up around her waist and the vivid pink dildo proudly displayed between her legs.

“Officially it’s called Marvin the Mater, but I think a better name would be ‘Dirk and his Secret kinks’.”

“Why not ‘Roxy and where the fuck did you buy that thing, jesus’.”

Roxy sticks her tongue out at you. Murphy, who you had basically forgotten all about, drops the bright red ball at Roxy’s feet and gladly flops himself down under your chair. He’s not even a little bit wet. Maybe he’s not as dumb as you thought.


	11. Eleven; for trying new things

Even now you’re learning new things about your lovers. To be honest, you didn’t think Roxy would be all that into being so submissive. You’re not too sure that she is, but rather just wants to try it out as she likes to do with most things. Of course, you’re all down to try new things, so there wasn’t much to argue about.

The four of you have a quick safety discussion, obviously, and make the safe words very clear the night before. You don’t actually think either Jake or Jane are capable of making you use a safe word, but safety first. Jake and his expert knot tying skills draw your arms behind your back and bind them pretty tightly together. He pushes you down to your knees none too gently.

You go down without a fight and Jake grabs the back of your head, forcing you forward to the point where you can rest your chin on the chair he brought in just moments before. Jane has already blindfolded Roxy and you watch as Jake moves over to rope her hands together in front of her, giving her more freedom than you have.

Jane brings a piece of cloth firmly around your eyes, her little fingers tying the knot at the back of your head. You’re thus left to rely on your other senses. There’s movement in front of you and then the feel of Roxy’s breath on your face. She’s been positioned on the opposite side of the chair, clearly. You hear the soft, wet noise of her licking her lips.

You listen to them move around, a lure of anticipation that makes you adjust yourself. The sharp noise of skin on skin is sudden. Roxy gasps. There is a following pause where she thinks and considers if she actually enjoyed that. She exhales slowly. The next strike is less sudden, but it makes her voice catch in her throat. Judging by the sound, it’s Jake doing the hitting and it’s not gentle.

One of them pasts by you and you tense up with expectation. There is no delivery, unfortunately. The next noise is sharper and more defined. Christ, is that a riding crop? Did one of them make a riding crop?

“Ah!” Roxy cries, her warm breath on your face. You can feel her squirming where she kneels. The next strike comes only moments later and proceeds to yank the breath out of Roxy completely, lurching her forward. There’s a hitch in her voice like she’s going to cry and a shudder of her trying to regain her cool.

There aren’t noises you’ve heard her make before. Not like this, at any rate. This, of course, makes you a little uneasy. You feel her move and judging by the warmth that leaves your face, she’s moving towards the swats. Her voice trembles as she lets out a delicate moan of pleasure. You would really like to know what’s happening.

The soft hum of a vibrator gives you something of an idea, at least. Roxy makes a muffled cried and the chair shakes a little as she squirms. Jake and Jane are being painfully quiet. There’s movement around you and then Roxy is no longer in front of you, leaving you anxiously alone. You hear Jake laugh.

“Eager there,” he says. There’s the sound of a lighter and you can smell the smoke that follows. You can’t recall Jane ever smoking in the house. Roxy, in exchange, goes quiet. Jane hums happily, though, and you assume Roxy is giving face. “Golly, look at you. You’re really wet.”

“I really wouldn’t have guessed she would be such a slut for pain,” Jane murmurs. Wow, okay, that’s a word that just came out of Jane’s mouth. That’s definitely not arousing. Not at all. Definitely. Roxy whimpers softly.

“Nor I,” Jake agrees. “Would ya look at these welts. You have quite the arm, Janey.”

“From all the stirring, I reckon,” she replies. You’re now positive that they are ignoring you on purpose. This is something you should have expected. “You can hold your breath longer than that, Roxy.”

You adjust yourself slightly, attempting to find some kind of relief on your hard on. You can hear Roxy’s little muffled noises, each little hitch of mingled emotion. The bed squeaks softly under their actions and Jane makes airy sighs of her own bliss. You don’t feel you have to make it known you want to be a part of this because if they didn’t know that, they wouldn’t have left you here.

Roxy gasps for breath, her soft panting audible from the short distance. There’s movement around you, but it’s hard to tell what it is. There’s a weight on your back suddenly, warm and heavy. It puts pressure on your bound arms, your unnatural flexibility fortunately preventing any injuries. You have to buck up to prevent you or Jane from falling.

“Open, love,” Jake says. You don’t believe he’s speaking to you. Jane rubs a gloved finger between your cheeks, pressing her digits against your anus teasingly. You swallow. Her wet cunt is hot on your arms. She slicks her fingers above you, you can hear the wet sound of her rubbing lubrication between her fingers. You’re momentarily distracted by the sudden sound of Roxy choking. Jane presses a middle finger into you suddenly and you give a small lurch forward.

“Dirk surprises me much less,” Jane murmurs. “Once a freak, always a freak I suppose.” You’ll be the first to admit that dirty talk is not exactly one of your buttons, but you’ve never heard Jane talk like this before. You might have a new button. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he used to choke himself to thoughts of you.”

Jake chuckles. To your credit, you never did that. That’s beside the point, you guess. Jane pulls the piece of cloth from over your eyes, drawing it between your teeth with a sudden yank and twirling it behind your head. You watch Jake press his thumb between the ring gag in Roxy’s mouth. She whines softly.

“You wanna fuck?” he asks. Roxy nods to the best of her ability. He grabs a handful of her hair, pulling her upward onto her knees. Jake rubs her wet, dripping cunt aggressively. Roxy squirms desperately. “Haven’t you had quite enough?” She shakes her head. Her thighs and breasts are violently red, the the nearly white lines outlined completely. She’s drooling helplessly around the gag.

Jake plucks a toy from his sylladex, an obtusely angled, double sided dildo. Your lovers have a habit of pulling sex toys out of seemingly no where. You’re not entirely sure there’s not a stash of them around here somewhere. He rubs it between her slippery fold. Roxy quivers at the slightest touch.

Jane grabs a handful of your hair suddenly, yanking your head back. You watch her patiently. She pulls you up by your hair, a careful grip near the base of your skull. You keep your weight on your knees, following her lead as best you can in this position. She brings you to your feet, her smaller stature causing you to have to bend your head into her. You’re not on your feet long, of course, as Jane pushes you against the dresser.

“Come here Roxy,” Jane beckons softly. Jake drags Roxy to her feet by her hips, proceeding to then grab her chin and bring her to Jane. Your cock twitches with anticipation. Jane kisses her girlfriend despite the lack of ability for Roxy to respond. She guides Roxy’s bound wrist to the wall above your head, giving her a place to lean against with her palms.

Roxy, still blindfolded, wriggles her hips toward you and you clench your teeth around the piece of cloth. She thrusts the exposed half of the dildo towards you blindly, needing some kind of friction at the very least. Jane gives her a hand. You gasp into the cloth as Roxy buries the toy as deeply into you as she can. You’re really pent up.

She drools onto your chest, each desperate thrust speckling saliva over your skin. She grinds her hips in an attempt to press the toy into her Gräfenberg Spot. This, obviously, creates return gesture that presses and rubs against your prostate firmly. You close your eyes momentarily before peering over Roxy’s shoulder. Jake and Jane sit close together on the edge of the bed, masturbating freely.

Roxy becomes energetic suddenly, stumbling on her toes to try to gain some leverage on you. She pants heavily through the gag, her strokes turning slower but deep. You throw your head down, rolling your hips into each thrust. Roxy comes a few moments before you, her throaty keen assure you of that.

You bite into the fabric as you orgasm, the near tortuous neglect turning your nerves oversensitive. Roxy brings her wrists down to your stomach, her breathing labored but pleased. Jane pulls her away carefully and Jake removes the gag from your mouth. You work your tongue in your mouth as Jake wipes you off.

“You alright, Strider?” he asks.

“Peachy,” you reply and he turns you around with gentle hands to untie your arms.

“You’re awfully red Roxy, are you okay?” Jane murmurs worriedly.

“Oh god. Jane. Babe no,” Roxy answers, rubbing her thighs softly. “That was great. You were great. I won’t be sitting for a while. This is exactly what I wanted.”

“Not to be able to sit?” Jake muses.

“That’s exactly what she meant, Jake,” you note.

“Oh, I’m going to go get some salve,” Jane sighs, quickly scurrying off with high concern.


	12. Twelve; for the surprises

On occasion, you help Jane out in the kitchen. This is despite your complete lack of ability to actually cook, bake, or really even work an oven. There are some foods you are perfectly capable of preparing, they just are usually made in the microwave or zapped to proper eating temperature with pure electricity.

Jane has assure you that most of your methods are unacceptable. You agreed to never cook by yourself and she agreed to never make you poultry ever again. God you’re so sick of birds. Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t help her roll out cookie dough from time to time. You undoubtedly are the best at getting sugar cookie dough exactly a fourth of an inch thick without a ruler.

“Okay but hear me out. When does chocolate and orange not go together?”

“Orange soda will not now, nor will it ever, be an acceptable substitution for orange extract or orange juice. Or anything, actually,” Jane assures you.

“I think you're just trying to sell more fish oil,” you murmur, all in good fun of course.

“That’s slander, Mr. Strider!” Jane huffs back with dramatic indignity.

“Your face is slander,” you answer.

“Strider! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“Yes,” and you both giggle because it never gets old. She nudges you slightly with her elbow as if to scold you but she can’t keep the smile off her face.

“See! That’s not ding dong diddly fair! You’ve had practice!”

“Practice? What livin alone for sixteen years?”

“Speak of the devil,” Jane giggles. You elbow her mildly and she elbows you back.

“Yeah! You have all your personal,” Jake wriggles his fingers at Roxy’s lap as they come through the door.

“My personal vagina?” she replies.

“Such an interesting conversation going on here,” Jane says pointedly.

“Roxy says she’s better at the two barrel pistol rodeo than me,” Jake huffs. “That’s not fair though.”

“Because personal vaginas,” you finish.

“Exactly!” Jake agrees.

“And this is on the idea that- they’re all the same?” Jane questions pointedly, looking over her shoulder for a moment to raise a brow at Jake.

“No! I’m just saying, if you know how to put a saddle on a pony then the hard part’s done,” Jake insists. You’re pretty interested on how this conversation started. Not that interested.

“If that’s the case, then you should be perfectly adapt at the pistol barrel whatever rodeo thing you said with Dirk,” Roxy points out. Jake crosses his arms over his chest mildly. It takes him a moment to realise what she’s suggesting. You can tell because his face flushes suddenly. However, he doesn’t debate this fact.

“I suppose,” he murmurs.

“First one to make their squeeze cum is the fingering champ!” Roxy exclaims.

“Wait!” Jane shouts. They both stop abruptly. She hurriedly takes the sheet of cookies and places them in the oven with extreme precision. She sets the timer for exactly twenty two minutes and props it up on the stove top before brushing her hands on the front of her apron. “Alright. Go.”

Roxy attaches herself to Jane immediately and Jake grabs you at the hip. He kisses you aggressively, dragging you down with his weight to the floor. You grasp the back of his head lightly. He jerks you around in an attempt to get your jeans off and then grumbles at you for ‘choosing today of all days to wear boxers’. He only bothers to drag your pants and undergarments down to your knees.

You feel Jane grasp your free hand, fingers tangling with yours neatly. Jake pops the cap of the always handy lube and swiftly coats his fingers with it. He presses his over bitten mouth to yours again, running his fingers between your thighs and pressing them against your anus. You dig your fingers into the muscles of his neck, giving him exceptional assurance to keep doing what he’s doing.

There’s really no telling how they came to the conclusion that one of them was worse at this. Jane’s muffled noises beside you are only emphasised by the scent of sugar cookies baking. You don’t think this is an accurate test of skill. Not that anyone’s really complaining at this point. Jake grasps your hard on with his unoccupied hand.

“Oh, oh, oh,” Jane chants airily. Her grasp on your hand clenches rhythmically, and her little squirms are desperate. “Roxy.”

Jake is all to eager to please, as he usually is, doing everything in his ability to build your orgasm. He’s good at it. If this ‘competition’ is any sign, however, he’s not as good as Roxy. Jane tilts her head onto your shoulder suddenly, arching her hips into Roxy’s hand with a pitched moan. Roxy kisses her hard, smothering her happily with love.

“Come on chap,” Jake murmurs against your lips. He bumps the pads of his fingers against your prostate again. You sigh into his mouth, your lips worn and red from the attention. With Jake knowing all the ways to make you see stars, you’re not far behind Jane. You orgasm with the same quiet noise she does.

“Told you,” Roxy sticks her tongue out at him. “I get to top.”

“Win win,” Jane giggles.

“Remind me to never flip a coin again,” you joke.


	13. Thirteen; for the comfort

You sleep for a whole five minutes before ending up wide awake again. The ceiling is too white and the bed is too stiff. Even with Jake’s loud snoring beside you, you’re finding it hard to sleep. Furthermore, the sheets of this bed smell sterile and it makes you even more uncomfortable. What do they wash their sheets in hospital grade bleach or what?

You glance toward Jake slightly, who doesn’t seem to be bothered in the least. He rolls over slightly as though he knew you were looking at him, and slings a heavy arm over your chest to drag you into him. His warmth is welcome, you guess. You stare at the ceiling.

Tomorrow Jake will share his technique for befriending wild lusus and pitch the sale of his expertly crafted ‘lusus treats’. He’s not all that concerned about it. He doesn’t need to be. The day after you’re both expected to appear post haste at a cooking convention with Jane. Then all four of you are off to a show for Roxy’s sister’s matesprit. You’ll be away from home for quite a bit longer, unfortunately.

You could be doing something right now. Jake stops snoring, inhaling a slow breath and nuzzling his face into the side of your skull. You keep still, hoping that he doesn’t realise you’re awake but he gives another heavy huff and rubs his face against your head.

“Dirk?” he murmurs tiredly. “You still awake lad?”

“Nah,” you assure him. You fell asleep for a couple minutes, so this is technically the truth. Jake’s probably not listening to you, however, as he is still mainly asleep.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks quietly.

“I’m fine,” you promise. “Go back to sleep.”

“Mm,” he hums. “Had a dream,” he tells you, barely bothering to get the words out. “Was tipper top.” For what few precious minutes you slept, you dreamed they got married without you and you ended up sleeping in the literal gutter for a thousand years all alone. You can’t say you like dreaming much.

“Go back to sleep, Jake,” you murmur again. He yawns softly, adjusting himself to lazily move himself further down on the bed. You don’t think he’s going back to sleep. “Jake.” He disappears under the blanket and his warm hands run down your hips lazily. He nuzzles the front of your boxers in what would be seductive if he wasn’t half asleep.

He presses his mouth to your rising dick and you exhale slowly. Carefully, Jake slips his fingers between your skin and the waistband of your shorts, shimming them down your legs and off in a series of movements. They disappear into the bed sheets. Jake runs his tongue along the underside of your cock, his warm breath heavy on your skin. He takes your hard on in his mouth and you shudder.

Casually, he runs his rough fingertips over your hips and butt down to the crook of your knees. He drags his tongue over your balls, delicately taking one and then the other into his mouth. Jake pulls your legs over his shoulders and brings his rather large hands to your waist, arching your back mildly against the bed.

Jake presses his tongue against your anus cause you to let out an uncharacteristic gasp of surprise before promptly tying up the end of said breath with a mangled moan. He heard a snort of laughter from under the covers. You ignore it for the time being. His movements are slow and lazy, being particularly torturous for you.

You grasp at the sheets a bit, moving your hips against his hands with pleasured squirms. Jake’s tongue is warm and firm against your sensitive muscles. But of course, his broad tongue isn’t long enough to reach the spots you want him to.

“Jake,” you breath and he replies by digging his fingers into your skin hard, sure to leave little bruises in their place later. You grab his wrist, twisting your hips mildly. Jake just goes about his business, though, reducing you to puddle of pitiful squirms in a matter of minutes. “Jake. Fuck. Fuck. You asshole.”

He’s doing this completely on purpose. On the surprise of everyone, including you, under very certain circumstances, you are extremely vocal. Unfortunately for you, they’re all exceedingly good at getting you to this circumstance. It’s pretty embarrassing actually. Even as you try to cover your mouth, you are drawn to wordless shouts and expletives.

You’re interrupted by the phone. Sure enough, your first reaction is to ignore it as you’re currently busy with more important things. However, after a ring or two you’re overcome with the worry that something might have happened at home and reach for it. It’s not home. When you put the phone back down, Jake does you the favor of removing his tongue from your sex organs and peer at you from under the covers curiously.

“That was the front desk,” you tell him blandly. “Both rooms next to us and the one below us have made noise complaints.” You watch Jake try not to laugh before ultimate bursting into his dumb goofy laughter. This isn’t funny. This is the opposite of funny. You pull the comforter off the bed and take it with you to the bathroom.

“Dirk wait,” Jake calls after you. “I’m sorry love. I swear I didn’t know the walls were that thin. Dirk please. Dirk?”


	14. Fourteen; for the interruptions

“What cha doing?”

“Watchin’ the science channel,” you reply. Roxy leans over you slightly to view the screen. Murphy, who until now was laid calmly in your arms, raises his head and swats his stubby little tail to greet his mama.

“Can I watch?” she asks.

“Course,” you answer. It’s not as if you’d tell her ‘no’. She joins you on the floor gladly, adjusting herself for a few moments before resting her head on your chest happily right beside the little puppy. Roxy becomes bored pretty quickly. That’s probably why she came in here in the first place.

She palms you lap idly. Fortunately, you weren’t that invested in the telly anyways. She shifts herself around to sit on your stomach, putting her back to your face, and undoes the zipper of your pants. Murphy, having been too rustled around for his liking, trots off to find someone who doesn’t move as much.

“Did you know the average male human thinks about sex seven times a second?” Roxy informs you.

“I’m pretty sure that’s one hundred percent bullshit,” you assure her as she fiddles with your dick.

“Probs,” she shrugs. “Dave told me.”

“I am absolutely sure that’s twice as much bullshit,” you correct yourself. She snorts slightly. “You shouldn’t spend so much time with Dave.”

“Are you jealous?” she purrs, stroking you leisurely.

“Extremely,” you deadpan back.

“He’s an interesting guy. Said we should try swinging,” Roxy hums.

“Oh man can you see me laughing right now at how hard that’s not going to happen?” you say in a flat voice. She doesn’t look at you, obviously. You seriously doubt it was an actual suggestion but rather a cheap shot at you. You think you can find it in yourself to forgive her this one time. Roxy makes herself comfortable, lowering herself down to wrap her lips around your cock.

You slip your thumb under the edge of her skirt and she shimmies her hips toward you happily. The difference between yours and her height makes this position more than a little awkward, but both of you can deal with that for the time being. You push her skirt up enough to expose her panties and run your middle and index finger against the indented line of her cunt.

She moans softly around you, shifting her hips again much more pointedly. You oblige her gladly, drawing your index finger under the fabric of her polka-dot panties and pulling them aside to expose her warm pussy. With your free hand, you grab the crook of her hip and waist to give yourself the leverage needed to pull off this extremely tedious position. For a few moments at least. The disproportionate amount of weight brings the pair of you into a much easier to manage position otherwise known as the lazy assholes.

Unbothered by the change, you immediately go about applying your tongue to her wet cunt earning you a rewarding moan of pleasure. Roxy’s skin is hot against your palms and her mouth is tight around your hard on. She squeezes her thighs around your head needfully, grinding her hips against you. You dig your fingers into her skin.

She takes your cock into her throat with a fluid motion and you moan mildly against her skin. Roxy wriggles herself against your face pointedly and you quickly apply your tongue to her folds again. You unsurprisingly come long before she does and she gladly pulls off your cock with a wet pop.

“Come’on Dirk,” Roxy insists, drawing her thighs tighter. “Please please please,” she begs. You run your fingers up to grasp her waist and press your tongue against her clitoris in the way you know she loves so much. She moans loudly, a sound that only grows in volume the closer to orgasm she gets. She claws the back of one of your legs idly.

When she finally comes, she lets out a happy sigh and releases you from the death trap she calls her thighs so you can breath again. Roxy rolls over contently and rests her hands on her stomach.

“Man good thing my neck is the least important part of my body,” you note.

“Psh. Maybe if you weren’t so short,” Roxy teases.

“Maybe if you weren’t so tall,” you reply.

“Who’s shoulders would Casey stand on during parades then?”

“Solid point.”


End file.
